My... beauty?

Ваша красота похожа на... тёплый вечер...

...мягкая, нежная, пушистая... слекга доверчивая и нежная... Ваша красота лирична, прекрасна, как вечерняя луна, как невесомая струйка ароматного дыма и достойна тысячи стихов... вы красивы истинной, настоящей красотой — и вам, должно быть, очень трудно даются отрицательные роли — ведь даже играя их вы способны затмить кого угодно.) Иногда слишком мечтательны, иногда слишком закрыты от чужих глаз — вы всегда сможете сохранить себя и свою красоту, даже если это потребует невероятных усилий. Гордитесь и цените это.

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My day

Настрой был с утра в глубокой жопе. Was given a gigantic cookie from Starbucks, cheered up a bit. Finished assignment at work, also helped. Got new assignment that I'm planning to finish tonight, Rolands added his own batch of positiveness - his work's going well too. Why would I be bothered by someone?

Happy Monday wishes

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Why the fuck are they always right?! Well, happy Monday, everyone!

Have you ever?

Not many of you know and even less of you realize how much I love writing. And reading. When I was younger, I had even attempted to write a book!

So it should come at no surprise that sometimes these little snippets of some untold, unfinished story can randomly come up in my head. And I'd like to get rid of them here (:

"Have you ever felt like a thief asking your parents for money?
Have you ever felt like the last person on earth getting that money and knowing that your parents will not buy themselves lunch that day because of that?
Have you ever worn your mother's clothing back in grade school?
Have you ever watched others play/own/eat something and knowing that the solar eclipse will occur sooner than you'll get to play/own/eat that?
Have you ever become an expert in a new trendy game but never actually owned it?"

The questions were gradually approaching shouting.

"Did you ever have nothing to eat? Did a day when the fridge was empty of not only food but anything remotely edible or cookable because your parents didn't get paid in time?! Did you ever have to eat boiled potatoes with sunflower oil and salt and ask your mommie if you can have more only to get a negative head shake?? Did you ever ask your mom why can't you have something else for dinner only to hear a loud sigh and catch a gaze directed through the wall and hear a quiet, tired voice tell you that this is good for you?!?"

The speech was becoming hysterical.

"It makes me CRY" the last word was said slowly, almost as if bitterly tasting every sound of it, short pause following it "when I think that my mother has worn the same shirt for the past TWENTY years!! It makes me want to drop on my knees in front of my parents, these titans that stand through their entire life like a shield for me, it makes me want to kiss the ground they stand on and forever be thankful for what those little everyday Deeds they do."

The voice became quiet, filled with all the mournful emotions and gratitude the words carried.

"So don't you tell me what I can and cannot afford." The end was abrupt and strict.

Oasis

There are times in your life when you feel like you're surrounded by a big blue ocean and you're standing on a small strip of sand with water calmly hitting your feet and you can smell the salt in the light breeze that's playing with your hair.

Yes, this is how I feel. Right now, right this moment. I feel sand between my toes! LoL, for those who don't understand the metaphor, allow myself to explain. I feel more confident, more sure. I can't forget at the same time that nothing in this life is stable - hence the sand. It's solid enough to hold you but at the same time it can easily go through your fingers. Much like life, you gotta be careful otherwise it'll just slip away. But I am safe for now. I am standing on a small sand strip and I am not afraid of the ocean of uncertainty, volatility and that liquid, flowy, patternless body!

Yes, things are working out for me right now. Things are right where I want them and now I hold the reigns! Muahahahaha!

Checked out prices to go to Ukraine. Theoretical date: August 27th. But I think I'll leave earlier than that. Like a week earlier! Anyways, have three options, each provides roughly a day between two planes so I'll have some time to walk around the city if I choose to:
- via Budapest: $1 374.40
- via Vienna: $1356.40
- via Prague: $1 671.80

Ouch. Prices bite but it's still during the vacation season so it blows but I gotta do this. If I decided, I need to stick to it. I can't afford any more time to wait - I haven't seen people for about 6 years now! It's scary, but I really want to go back and see all my relatives and some of my friends that still remember me.

Was planning to go to Waterloo this weekend - lots of people there I haven't seen in a while. But I'm not sure if I can go there - no place for Alex to stay. Oh well, then maybe everyone will come down during the reading week. :D That'll be exciting!

In any case, life is back on some track for now - it's flowing and I have the control of directions. Sorry about the small picture with random stuff on it but I couldn't find any better - this one fits the exact description of what I was talking about at the beginning.

Happily skipping Valentine's!

Much like "Time Machine", old Russian band, sang, I solve my problems by pretending they don't exist (from the song called "She walks through life, laughing"). I avoid them and most of the time if I avoid them for long enough they tend to settle in like dust during cleaning.

I am like that. So sue me!