Monday, December 24, 2007
River
A provincial highway.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Programmers' religion
Taken from daily gmail talks:
Alex (A): remember how you wanted [my code to do something] but then you changed your mind?
Peter (P): uh huh
A: well, you're gonna have to change your mind again :)
P: why is that?
A: is my word not enough? :-o
P: Just like that huh? Take ur word for it, start calling u jesus too? :p
A: erm, st. mary would be better, jesus was a guy
P: oh shit! he was, but he had the hair going on
P: im okay with that, the fucking thing is slow as hell anyways. Yes mary, plz make the changes 0:-)
A: LMAO! Hmm... there WAS St. Alexandra, I guess I could go with that :)
P: u know, in order to become a st you got to die first. i think its something like that no?
A: no, there are a few requirements. like you have to turn water into wine or something like that
P: HELOOO! u can do that? <3 style="font-weight: bold;">A: FINE! So I'll be a Saint in Object Oriented religion :p
P: can i be the antichrist of that?
A: I don't think Carlos will like it
P: so carlos is like, one of the 12 deciples, doug would be jesus and sobeco god?
And there you have it. Some just say that their work is their religion. Now you have proof that it is true for Soft. Dev. folk!
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Today
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Just how DUMB is Vista?
When you choose to power down your PC within Vista operating system, you must not shut the lid if it is configured to trigger the Sleep Mode. Why? Because despite the fact that Vista is shutting down your computer, it figures that you must've changed your mind and want to put the computer into Sleep Mode.
Once 'awaken' after I got tired for the LEDs to shut off, it promptly continued to shut down the computer. The screen quietly went blank, seizing the humming murmur while I looked at it dumbstruck.
I applaud.
Friday, November 09, 2007
What?
Still, it feels like my brain is covered with dim cloud and the melancholy mood had not left even after a prompt cup of coffee arriving to work. Perhaps I shouldn't have gotten Breakfast Blend?
This also rather annoying since the lack of work is not helping this mellow sleepiness. It feels like my whole body is tired. Like I didn't get enough sleep! I also noted today that I have a terrible pillow after my neck started hurting like a bitch the moment I opened my eyes. Perhaps that was also a reason why I simply collapsed back into sleeping abyss once the alarm clock on the cell went off for the 5th and last time. Waking up an hour afterwards was only a tad more pleasant. -_-
Rolands is also not helping much by being offline. Although I really hope he got some sleep and not went to get trashed because of his interview-gone-bad. If the latter is true, I may not talk to him for another 3-4 hours if not for the rest of the day. Artem's not replying back to my messages either as well as other people such as Andrew Morton (Associate Director of Soft Eng), Jennifer Scott (the lady with the apartments), Tamara and probably a number of other individuals, letters of whom I gave up to expect.
Gaaah! What is WRONG with today?! And who the fuck is responsible for it because I sure would like to know when the fuck it will get fixed!
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Just for Laughs
Doug: Carlos, the users would like a documentation for this product.
Carlos: Oh, alright. I'll come up with some UML diagrams...
Doug: No. They would prefer it typed, please.
Carlos: Oh.... Um, like... words?
Trick or treat?
So yeah, I had my own fun with it. One kid, dressed like Dracula with gelled hair and fake teeth didn't bother saying anything! He came tailing another group that just emptied their lungs and got the candy but little he knew who he was dealing with. After seeing my "confused" look he weakly said the Halloween "password" which totally did not satisfy me. So I simply knelt to have him face me instead of searching for my face in the sky and told him to scare me... Well, apparently the scare involved a wide smile, showing off the fake teeth, and then a half yell half roar of "Trick or treat?" Oh well, he deserved that candy.
Today I was on a 60 bus (because mommy refused to drive me after driving Kate and returning home) and as you can imagine, you hear all sorts of stories when on TTC. This guy was telling another about his last trick-or-treating which was when he was 17 and lived with his control-freak aunt. He stuffed his costume into the school bag and after school didn't bother going home and went doing his usual Halloween business with his friends. He packed the candy in his school backpack and kept it in his school locker, occasionally visiting it on his routine "washroom breaks" to have some sweets.
Why haven't I thought of that? After my last trick-or-treating mom hid all the candy and wouldn't let us eat almost at all! I think we ate half of it in like 4 months and the rest she either forgot about or threw out after it "went bad."
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Nerdy boss
Carlos: Well, why? I am an admin of my network at home and ....
Doug: Exactly! Alex, do you have a Domain Controller at home?
Virus Alert
We had a virus alert going around. They've wrote up a whole explanation how the virus sends you an email making it look like a response from Canada Revenue Agency response to some claim that YOUR EMPLOYER filed (they even manage to get your employer's name somehow....). The email you get even has a pretty Canadian flag logo and everything and it prompts you to click on the link provided (which leads you to some obscure blog.... which is rather odd for CRA to do) and that's how you'd get the virus.
Now, the email everyone got explained that everyone should be aware of this threat and directed everyone to the attached virus email with link being disabled. NOT!
Yeah, they forgot to remove the link. Wonder how many curious geniuses actually clicked... We had two followups saying that we shouldn't click the link since it was left active....
Office email (note the link at the bottom):
Monday, October 29, 2007
XML classes conversion
So ideally I should be able to get my hands on the object of type XmlDocument on a client side after casting that dreadful XmlNode object. Right? Wrong! The object comes back as an XmlElement instead!
You see, the saddest thing is that I am not sure that this behaviour is guaranteed! How can Microsoft exhibit no trust to the users-developers of its software and hire half-assed developers to create products? Things definitely need to change over there. And preferably in both aspects!
Monday, October 15, 2007
Work, fuckers!
Needless to mention, our main Architect - basically the guy who calls the final shots on everything our mini "clique" of 4 does - is back from his week.5 long vacation. I was talking to my neighbour today as she was driving me to work and I told her that even though the guy is back he will definitelly come by and check on us and will say something along the lines of "Alright guys, let's have a meeting about all this and discuss our next steps. So, say... after lunch?.... at 3?"
Well, little did I know what life had in store for me. Instead of anticipating a meeting today, the guy decided to spare me of the torturing feelings and say this:
"So guys, I just want to get this all done and deployed by say Wednesday-Thursday.... Friday. And then we'll have a meeting to see where to go next."
FUCK!
NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*STAB STAB*
--------------------------------------------------------
On the happier note, MY LAPTOP IS HERE!!! I'm pretty upset though because I won't get my hands on it until tomorrow night! But ah! I was expecting at least another week of torturous waiting but alas! 'tis here!
Oh joy of joys! Shit, goddamnit! I have SO much troublesome settings to kill! VISTAAAAA! *stab stab*
BUT, I did find the XP Tablet :D Thanks Rolands buddy! After talking to Ovesea I am now in doubts over whether I should install XP. I dunno, it seems so much trouble but I fear might be worth it in the end.
Just checkmarks: tickets to Ukraine are bought and I am waiting for them to call me to pick them up. I'm wondering if I should start packing now, lol.
Snowboarding gear purchases are still pending, sent an email to Kneebone, maybe they'll give a tip or two where to buy stuff. Hopefully I'll be all set before November, 'cuz then it's DOWN THE HILLS, BABY!
Nothing much other than that. Sheesh, I'm just SO bored! Worst part is that I'm sure they could find me something to do if I really talked to them and said that you fucking idiots are wasting my time and your money! But I don't want to. Getting my ass involved in something right before picking up an old project I started at the beginning (pretty much what I was hired to do) means postponing it almost indefinitely and I don't feel like plowing through some outdated unmaintainable code again.
Over and out, minna
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Save me!!!
But I'm planning to plainly tell them. I really want to see the city. LoL, as if a week and a half of Ukraine is not enough! Well, it's not :P
This is getting stupid and borderline pathetic! I am using Visual Studio 2006 to type up this post. A little sad, yes. I don't want to use the browser - don't want to keep that window visible for so long. And hey, at least this time whenever someone talks to me, if they glance at the screen, all they'll see is my work open. Nobody will look at the screen for long enough and close enough to read this! I hope...
But OMG, I'm going to Ukraine!!! We're getting the tickets tonight! I'm so excited. I've caught myself thinking today that I don't mind waking up to less and less light outside the window every day because that brings me closer to the end of this term! It's a little odd that this term is dragging on so long. I can't wait!
I also can't wait to the Mt. Tremblant adventure with parents on Christmas! I will get my own snowboard and will practice all the 4 days I'm there!!! OH, this is too much, all this goodness, it's impossible! Something bad is bound to happen :(
Oh well, sad thoughts aside, things seem to be working out... more or less :)
Over and out, minna!
Friday, September 28, 2007
Rates
Answers ................................................... $1
Answers that require thought .......................... $2
Correct answers ........................................... $4
Dumb looks ...................................... FREE!
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Vain
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Microsoft laughs
What kind of variable type is ?bool?!
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
The morning
And on that happy thought I fell back asleep. Woke up after 7:45am and right away my mood clouded. I slowly got myself ready and came downstairs. I got some fruit together for lunch, thanked again for today being a Pizza day and left.
Annoyed a bit at the fact that I needed to walk to the bus stop yet enjoying the walk none the less I once again regretted for getting up late and forgetting that it's going to be 32C with humidity.
I arrived at the bus stop precisely as everyone else got on the bus and it was my turn. I managed to get a seat at the "top" section of the bus for it seems that scarcely anyone who lives west of Bathurst St. uses route 60. However, at some point I got distracted from my reading by a loud voice (since the black guy who was shouting was standing rather close to my seat) yell out to the people at the front "Come on guys, move to the back. He is not closing the door and moving this bus until you move back!" and once people started moving up, half frightened and half confused he yelled out "Come on now! Plenty of space! Come on!". For people like that I have my respect. Those who are not afraid to shout at a bus full of strangers, pointing out their selfish ignorance. I am always confused why would anyone, seeing free space right next to them, prefer being pushed and shoved around in the crowd instead of moving? What's so great about the front of the bus anyways? What are we, 5 years old to be excited by looking through windshield of the bus?
So I "rudely" jumped ahead of a Russian girl while getting off the 60E bus, thanking it being an express bus starting from Yonge St. I rushed to the subway and continued reading Count of Monte Cristo. At the same time I caught myself thinking "I hope I won't miss my stop like I almost did last time I was half-lost in reading." Which I did almost immediately after.
Quickly getting up with the book half open to the half-surprise and half-amusement of my sitting neighbour I rushed off the train against a stream of boarding "TTC patrons". I continued to push my way through the crowd up the stairs to get to another branch of subway, franticly thinking not to slip on the stairs again as I did before - the bruises I got on my knees still carried a deep shade of purple.
I got to my next destination without an adventure only to find out that I missed the bus, which I saw just leave the stop the moment I walked out the doors of the station. Another bus pulled shortly after and I came up to the door, ready to get on and get the best spot (after all, I missed the previous bus and was the first in line!). I found it rather strange that everyone else in both lines (for front and back doors) kept aback while glancing at me as the only one who stood right at the door. Once the last person got off, I quickly jumped on the bus. Still, nobody followed. The doors closed and bus took off. I was, needless to say, extremely confused - sitting alone on the empty bus, taking me somewhere. I figured I'll see where it'll take me. My curiosity soon was satisfied - the bus made a half a circle around the station and stopped on the opposite side to pick up its passengers. Thus I promptly go off, to the general surprise of those who stood at the front of the line and rushed back to my stop.
I was hoping the bus already left but it didn't. Thus I suffered a minor self imagined embarrassment and got on the bus. I'm sure nobody had paid attention and even bothered to make a note of my stupidity. If not, I blame it on the fact that I wasn't fully awake.
At some point before reaching York Mills the bus picked up a rather large gentlemen who seemed very angry and agitated as he got on. From what I overheard he was standing on the bus stop and a bus either passed right by him and stopped at the next stop a little further back or picked up all other people on that bus stop except him. Either way he was really angry at TTC ignoring him (in one way or another). I felt bad for the bus driver who could only listen quietly and did not dare to look at the angry "patron". Once the Red Shirt (since the 'customer' wore a bring red shirt) finished his angry tirade there was an awkward silence that hung for over two seconds. And the a bus driver said (and what else could he say) "I have nothing to say to this, sir." Then the bus moved on.
I also became a witness of a disabled person on those electronic wheel chairs getting on the bus. The guy of suspiciously eastern origin who was sitting on those chairs that fold up to free the space promptly switched the seat the moment he saw the lady waiting at the bus stop. At the same time the old black lady remained in her seat until the bus driver asked her to get up. The entire procedure took about 3-4 minutes - it turns out it's rather hard to do a 180 turn in that electric wheel chair inside a bus. Well, after completing a 25-point turn, everything was finally settled in and we moved on to the next stop where I was to get off.
It was a little annoying since I was standing right in the middle between the front and rear exit. Well, I wanted to charge for the front door but hesitated since the lady jerked up from her seat and rushed to the back exit right before the bush stopped. That half second hesitation was enough for me NOT to make it to the front exit in time and people started rushing on board. Thus I had to rush to the back door through a bunch of other "patrons" who seemed to think their legs were glued to the floor and thus didn't have the slightest clue that it would be nice for them to move out of my way. Perhaps I shouldn't have hid that gigantic book back into my purse?
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Habits
Today, however, one of the guys wasn't around and the other two people seem to be buried with work so I simply omitted my usual morning greeting. And right now one of the ladies who sits in the adjacent cubicles, Hala, came up to me and tried to apologize for not hearing me say Good morning! today. She said she must've had her music too loud to hear. I insisted that it was no problem at all - I did not have the heart to tell her I never said it in the first place.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Grave of the Fireflies
Sunday, September 09, 2007
I want to write, I want to say something. To express myself; there is almost something that's inside of me that wants to break free. But can't.
Horoscope for 10th:
Your greatest strength is how your ambition is fed by your sense of organization and planning.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
This was funny at 3am in the morning
10. Assures viewers heavy downpour of spiders should end by midday
9. During weather report, finishes three cans of Pringles
8. Begins segment with "A big shout-out to my main dude, Sam the Snowman"
7. How else do you explain seeing a Doppler 4000 in local pawn shop?
6. Segues to sports guy by saying, "Now here's the narc"
5. Between "Thun-" and "-der", a 3-minute pause while he stares into camera
4. Stands next to map of U.S., screams, "Fear me, I'm a giant!"
3. Says, "There are record highs in this area"; points to head
2. When he says, "Expect 2 to 3 inches of snow," it ain't no ski report
1. So stoned he doesn't know difference between nimbostratus clouds and stratocumulus clouds
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
More random conversations
- Aha! Suck my right ball, bitch!
- Now there's how you know Ovesea is stressed out...
Monday, June 11, 2007
Some algorithmic thinking
- How can he use his laptop to jerk off?
- Online porn?! - *sigh* - You watch porn too...
- No I don't.
- Lies!
- No I don't!
- You see, my sister said that it's biological... for guys. Like, they've gotta...
- Well.. I just.. don't need porn! I have a very vivid imagination! :)
- .... OMG, I'm sorry I asked! - *disgusted with topic*
- What, girls jerk off too. You do it.
- Erm, no I don't.
- You said you do.
- Ack, when?
- A while ago, I dunno...
- Ugh, well, actually I was apparently confused as to what it is... for girls. So I actually don't!
- Explain me, what is the difference between what it is and what you thought it was!
- Uerrruu.... - *pause* - Well, how do you define "jerking off"?
Open up Google:
"Masturbation is the manual excitation of the sexual organs, most often to the point of orgasm."- So, orgasm. You see, I never really gotten to one... Plus, I figured it's pretty pointless so I stopped a while ago.
- Oh.... Lemme give it a try!
*hysterical laughter*
- No! You shall stay away from... - *pause and read the definition again* - my "sexual organs"!!!
Saturday, June 02, 2007
| Скорее всего Ваша фраза «Никогда не переставай улыбаться, даже если тебе грустно – кто-то может влюбиться в твою улыбку» |
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Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Today
Так странно. Все время, сколько я себя помню, родители всегда хлопотали о нашем благополучии, вечно работали, где-то бетали, все покупали, кудато возили, что-то готовили. Мама всегда была дома с нами после школы, папа приходил тоже не так уж и поздно а все же я никогда не ощущала что они рядом, никогда не была близка с родителями.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Integrating Jakarta Validation with Spring using Spring Modules
NOTE: This tutorial is meant to be an addition to this one.
Before you begin.
At the time of writing of this tutorial the following versions were referred to:
Spring 2.0
Springmodules 0.7
Here are a few resources you may find useful, in addition to those, mentioned in this tutorial.
DefaultValidatorFactory (source code)
DefaultBeanValidator (source code)
AbstractBeanValidator (source code)
ConfigurableBeanValidator (source code)
MultiActionController (javadoc)
BindException (javadoc)
YouTube (music videos to ease the pain)
1. Configuring Validator Factory.
This is a simple and easy step of adding a ValidatorFactory bean to Spring applicationContext.xml. See the aforementioned documentation above for reference.
2. Validation Rules!
This step is also self explanatory since you're simply to download the provided validation-rules.xml and save it at the location you've specified in your ValidatorFactory bean.
3. Configure your Validator.
This is also pretty easy understand from the provided documentation.
4. Client side validation.
I'm going to swap two steps of client and server side validation since I found that order to be more intuitive to those who have never tried anything related to validation in their life.
So, really, what does the client side validation? Yup, you've guessed it, JavaScript that comes with the package. However, adding that javascript to your JSP page isn't as easy.
Import proper tag library.
To do so, simply add a declaration snippet to import the validation tags.
<%@ tglib uri="http://www.springmodules.org/tags/commons-validator" prefix="validator" %>
Add javaScript to the page.
To do so, use the newly imported validator tag to import the code:
<validator:javascript formName="account" staticJavascript="false" xhtml="true" cdata="false"/>
Enable validation of your form.
If you're using a simple <form> tag, then simply add
onsubmit="return validateMeaningfulNameForm(this)"to your form tag declaration. If you're using Spring's <form:form> tag, I suggest externalizing all the code required for form submission into a function. I used property binding method, thus my function looked like this:
function formSubmit(){
alert("Submitting and validating the form data.");
document.meaningfulNameForm.actionMethod.value="submitForm";
validateMeaningfulNameForm(this);
}Naming of your form is very important. You have two options in this.Using DefaultBeanValidator.
This class provides automation of resolving your form's name. When using this validator, it is assumed that the name of the form is the same as the class name of the form's backing bean.
Example. Imagine I have a class org.mycompany.forms.Data which is meant to represent the data I get submitted through my form. (i.e. my Data class is the backing bean for my form) If you're using DefaultBeanValidator then your form's name MUST be data, due to the way this validator class resolves the form names.Using ConfigurableBeanValidator.
In contrast, this class provides flexibility by allowing to configure the form's name it's validating through Spring's bean invocation. Simply create a validator bean for each form and you're off to the races!
Example. Imagine that I like to name my forms with meaningful names and have defined the form in the following manner:Defining validation rules for your form.<form id="meaningfulNameForm" name="meaningfulNameForm" onsubmit="return validateMeaningfulNameForm">Thus I will create the following bean in my applicationContext.xml:<bean id="meaningfulNameFormValidator" class="org.springmodules.commons.validator.ConfigurableBeanValidator">I will then need to pass this bean to an appropriate controller for my form.
<property name="formName" value="meaningfulNameForm" />
</bean>
Now that we've decided on the naming of the forms, it's important to tell the validator what are the valid conditions that the data will be validated against.
Now this is the part where it gets all confusing. There are a bunch of pre-made validators that are readily defined in validation-rules.xml. A few of the most common ones are
- required - defines a field as a required field and verifies that the value of the field is not null and its length is not 0.
- validWhen - ensures that the expression, specified in the test parameter is true (explained further).
The DTD provides a short overview of the different tags and fields that are available to the user to enable the validation of a particular form. (they are also rather intuitive) However, one particular tag that lacks any explanation is the <var> tag with two of its children, <var-name> and <var-value>. These are used together with such validators as validWhen to provide necessary variables for testing.
Example. When using validWhen validator, you need to provide a boolean expression to be verified. This is done through <var> tag:The tutorial, mentioned at the beginning of the post shows a simple set up. One thing to note is the fact that you have to make sure that you're specifying the proper form name in the <form> tag.<var>This validator is expecting a boolean variable, named test, to be passed in with the value of the boolean expression in order to validate the form field.
<var-name>test</var-name>
<var-value>(*this* == password)</var-value>
</var>
5. Server side validation.
Ah, here comes another fun part. If you thought you're done, think again. Now that you've configured your client side to invoke validations, the errors are thrown around, (hopefully) logged somewhere and yet nothing is being done to fix this mess.
The online documentation covers the set up of the controller bean, in case you decide to go with the SimpleFormController implementation. However, in the world of dynamics we venture off to use AJAX in our web applications and thus decide to utilize the functionality of MultiActionController class. Its set up differs just a tad, however, from that of SimpleFormController.
<bean id="multiActionController" class="org.springframework.web.servlet.mvc.multiaction.MultiActionController">The controller will throw a BindException which you may use to access such information as which field was not validated and why. This can be used by some custom controller to react accordingly or to simply display proper error messages to the user.
<property name="validators" >
<list>
<ref bean="beanValidator" /> <!-- this is your validator bean, defined earlier -->
</list>
</property>
</bean>
Friday, March 02, 2007
Moving
Yesterday we had a huge snowstorm (pictures will be available soon on Picasa), getting home was CRAZY. But somehow, once again, yours truly managed to avoid all the troubles. I admit, the ride on the bus for half of the way standing in a packed bus wasn't my first choice but it was the ONLY choice.
I think I am slowly infecting the office and everyone else around me - my sister got sick last week, people at work got sick, now Dima is sick too. He was whining the whole day how bad he has it, sitting at home, drinking tea and doing nothing. So Anton M. was bored yesterday and we made a surprise visit over to his house. We were watching "Братва и Кольцо" - hilarious Russian voice-over for Lord of the Rings. I have to say, if you have 3-9 hours free and want to spend them having absolute blast, just invite a couple of friends over and watch just that. To all the Russian speaking readers, I've got a full DVD for those who haven't seen it.
The drive there was an adventure! Anton M. has summer tires and doesn't plan to change them. Thus TCS (Traction Control System) was going off quite a number of times otherwise it would be impossible to get up that hill on Bathurst. Drive back was better, the snow on the roads just melted but didn't freeze just yet so the car had just enough grip to get me home ^_^
Fridays are good days. My favorite day of the week is Thursday but because of Fridays. Nobody wants to stay at work or be serious (thank God I have never had a deadline yet at work!). It was sunny at around 10am and even though the sun is gone, the mood stayed light. Even though I still won't get a second monitor. But oh well, can't expect much when you're in my shoes. Посмотрим что они запоют когда им захочется что бы я вернулась на еще один семестр!
Over and out, minna!
Friday, February 23, 2007
My... beauty?
| Ваша красота похожа на... тёплый вечер... |
| ...мягкая, нежная, пушистая... слекга доверчивая и нежная... Ваша красота лирична, прекрасна, как вечерняя луна, как невесомая струйка ароматного дыма и достойна тысячи стихов... вы красивы истинной, настоящей красотой — и вам, должно быть, очень трудно даются отрицательные роли — ведь даже играя их вы способны затмить кого угодно.) Иногда слишком мечтательны, иногда слишком закрыты от чужих глаз — вы всегда сможете сохранить себя и свою красоту, даже если это потребует невероятных усилий. Гордитесь и цените это. |
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Tuesday, February 20, 2007
My day
Monday, February 19, 2007
Happy Monday wishes
пройти тест Виконт |
Why the fuck are they always right?! Well, happy Monday, everyone!
Monday, February 12, 2007
Have you ever?
So it should come at no surprise that sometimes these little snippets of some untold, unfinished story can randomly come up in my head. And I'd like to get rid of them here (:
"Have you ever felt like a thief asking your parents for money?
Have you ever felt like the last person on earth getting that money and knowing that your parents will not buy themselves lunch that day because of that?
Have you ever worn your mother's clothing back in grade school?
Have you ever watched others play/own/eat something and knowing that the solar eclipse will occur sooner than you'll get to play/own/eat that?
Have you ever become an expert in a new trendy game but never actually owned it?"
The questions were gradually approaching shouting.
"Did you ever have nothing to eat? Did a day when the fridge was empty of not only food but anything remotely edible or cookable because your parents didn't get paid in time?! Did you ever have to eat boiled potatoes with sunflower oil and salt and ask your mommie if you can have more only to get a negative head shake?? Did you ever ask your mom why can't you have something else for dinner only to hear a loud sigh and catch a gaze directed through the wall and hear a quiet, tired voice tell you that this is good for you?!?"
The speech was becoming hysterical.
"It makes me CRY" the last word was said slowly, almost as if bitterly tasting every sound of it, short pause following it "when I think that my mother has worn the same shirt for the past TWENTY years!! It makes me want to drop on my knees in front of my parents, these titans that stand through their entire life like a shield for me, it makes me want to kiss the ground they stand on and forever be thankful for what those little everyday Deeds they do."
The voice became quiet, filled with all the mournful emotions and gratitude the words carried.
"So don't you tell me what I can and cannot afford." The end was abrupt and strict.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Oasis

There are times in your life when you feel like you're surrounded by a big blue ocean and you're standing on a small strip of sand with water calmly hitting your feet and you can smell the salt in the light breeze that's playing with your hair.
Yes, this is how I feel. Right now, right this moment. I feel sand between my toes! LoL, for those who don't understand the metaphor, allow myself to explain. I feel more confident, more sure. I can't forget at the same time that nothing in this life is stable - hence the sand. It's solid enough to hold you but at the same time it can easily go through your fingers. Much like life, you gotta be careful otherwise it'll just slip away. But I am safe for now. I am standing on a small sand strip and I am not afraid of the ocean of uncertainty, volatility and that liquid, flowy, patternless body!
Yes, things are working out for me right now. Things are right where I want them and now I hold the reigns! Muahahahaha!
Checked out prices to go to Ukraine. Theoretical date: August 27th. But I think I'll leave earlier than that. Like a week earlier! Anyways, have three options, each provides roughly a day between two planes so I'll have some time to walk around the city if I choose to:
- via Budapest: $1 374.40
- via Vienna: $1356.40
- via Prague: $1 671.80
Ouch. Prices bite but it's still during the vacation season so it blows but I gotta do this. If I decided, I need to stick to it. I can't afford any more time to wait - I haven't seen people for about 6 years now! It's scary, but I really want to go back and see all my relatives and some of my friends that still remember me.
Was planning to go to Waterloo this weekend - lots of people there I haven't seen in a while. But I'm not sure if I can go there - no place for Alex to stay. Oh well, then maybe everyone will come down during the reading week. :D That'll be exciting!
In any case, life is back on some track for now - it's flowing and I have the control of directions. Sorry about the small picture with random stuff on it but I couldn't find any better - this one fits the exact description of what I was talking about at the beginning.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Happily skipping Valentine's!
Much like "Time Machine", old Russian band, sang, I solve my problems by pretending they don't exist (from the song called "She walks through life, laughing"). I avoid them and most of the time if I avoid them for long enough they tend to settle in like dust during cleaning.I am like that. So sue me!
Monday, January 29, 2007
Correct me if I'm wrong
I came out of a movie - I admit, I've cried a bit but I won't tell you why to avoid spoilers to those who actually WANT to watch this movie - and my head was empty. Usually movies with such heavy content (violence, inner workings of criminal world and human soul) would make me think about stuff. Or perhaps it would make me ponder on the underlying messages the director attempted to convey to the audience. Not this time - nothing at all. Nada.
So is it me getting dumber, more robust and ignorant to the world, becoming cold-blooded bitch, or is it just that the movies nowadays are just so... empty. You literally walk out of the theatre feeling empty. Or maybe it's just me?
I'm confused as hell. I need to figure things out. Starting from when the hell our exams end - I need to start planning my Ukraine trip. Anyone in for a little cultural refreshment this August?
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Conceptual Age of Daniel H. Pink
“In the Conceptual Age, we will need to complement our L-Directed [Left-Brain Directed] Reasoning by mastering six essential R-Directed [Right-Brain Directed] aptitudes. Together these six high-concept, high-touch senses can help develop the whole new mind for this new era demands.
1. Not just function but also DESIGN
2. Not just argument but also STORY
3. Not just focus but also SYMPHONY
4. Not just logic but also EMPATHY
5. Not just seriousness but also PLAY
6. Not just accumulation but also MEANING
… Anyone can master the six Conceptual Age senses. But those who master them first will have a huge advantage.”
- Daniel H. Pink
Excerpt from
Pink, D. H. (2005) A Whole New Mind: Moving from the Information Age to the Conceptual Age. New York: Riverhead Books (pp 65-67).
Monday, January 15, 2007
Resolutions of the 21st year of life
I have met New Years sitting on a couch in front of TV in pajamas and with a glass of wine in my hand. I was watching the show downtown as they've counted down the last moments of year 2006. I have counted with the crowd, slowly shouting the moments left of the year in my mind. Once the countdown reached zero and the crowd went ecstatic from all the joy, happiness, fireworks, smiling faces under the winter rain (yeah!) I couldn't help but to let go that huge blob of happiness, mixed with pain, sorrow, joy and a dozen more emotions and break into tears. Those were true tears of joy that finally my life is back to where I wanted it to be - on track towards success, joy, laughter, wine and other pleasant things.
Little I knew how shockingly soon I will be paying for those painfully pleasant tears! I am talking about the most recent Saturday night of my life. I look back at it and a ripple of goosebumps runs at the back of my neck.
No, I am not sorry for what happened. I was drunk and surrounded by a bunch of people who were not yet my friends however they were close enough so that I didn't have to have my guard up. Have I been among solemnly the people I have in person invited, I highly doubt anything like that would happen. But it did.
However, I am terrified. I am angry at myself for letting myself become who I am now. Tell me this 5 years ago and I would not believe that I am the same person. It seems that it is almost too late to do anything about this, however I cannot idly sit and watch myself like this. On the other hand, unfortunately the situation has gone far enough and requires tremendous effort on my part. I need to work hard and keep my goals clear. Self criticism is strictly enforced and any outside comments are strongly encouraged.
And now something that's been needed to be done a long time ago. As my New Year's resolution, I am adding No more tequila as another one to the few on my list. From now on no shot that I consume will be tequila or have anything to do with tequila. Of all things I've had so far in my life, I have the worst experiences (note the plural state!) because of this vile drink.
And last but not least, I need some alone time. All this trumpery is because it's been only one day since the dreaded party and I'll feel better about this as time goes by and separates today from that awful event.
