Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Pity

Damn it! Today was supposed to be the "healthy eating" day since I ate so much freakin' chocolate on Saturday! And now look at me! What is Alex doing? She having a Korean Chocolate Pie with Marshmallow Cream and chasing it with (a rather goooood) juice ^_______^ I'm such a junkie!

On the other note, it seems that people under a wrong assumption that I don't have friends outside of my little housemates circle. Yes, it's true that I don't spend that much time with anyone else in the university except these guys that I live with but still I have lots of friends except these guys!

Here's what happened (pasted from MSN conversation):
oh, lol, well you see
according to Maria I'm wrong to think that since the guys hang out with me from time to time that they don't mind me n' stuff
really, they hang out with me because they feel sorry for me that nobody else will otherwise
you see, it so happens that EVERYONE has a problem with me but they still hang out with me out of their own kindness of heart
fuckkards :(
LOL
I know
at first I was REALLY upset... to hear that said into my face...
pfft... *mocking* "So do you get the hint NOW?"
I'm confused
well, basically she just said that I need to get the hint and leave them all alone
which is what I did starting today
wonder where all this came from...
although it is impressive how long they were able to keep it from you if it's true
which makes me wonder if it actually is
people are liars...but I doubt they're that good
and I doubt Jin was
but what appalled me the most of that they are so friendly because they PITY me!
even if the rest of them were
I was shocked because I really can't see Jin having a problem with me but continue being so nice to me and going out of his ways sometimes too
a bunch of very sad people if they need to pity someone to feel better about themselves though
thats the equivelant of dogs in psychologists' perspectives
lol
well, me and her started talking - she wants me to get laid :S
it's true - it's the lowest form of self-satisfaction
so we kinda wandered off to how I need friends and I need to get out more
borderline pathetic
lol
and then I'm like, well, i've got my friends
and she's like, not you don't (basically)
then she goes on to stuff between me and anton
what's with this obsession about getting laid??:S
and I'm like, hey, i 'aint appoligizing to that bitch
(I know! she's so horny she's trying to spread it all on me! :S)
and then she's like, why not, you're making it harder for everyone else!
I'm like, how? everyone didn't say A WORD about it to me (or anton, I'm sure) so everyone seems to be fine with that
she's like, no they're not, everyone, EVERYONE has a problem with you!
I was like, WHAT? :|
lies! everyone's fine... look, I talk to artem on random topics unrelated to school, and we're fine
she's like, no, I feel sorry for you so that's why I'm telling you that even though everyone's all nice to you, everything is not fine
I'm like, what do you mean? why'd they hang out with me still even though they have a problem with me and everything's not fine!?
she's like, 'cuz we feel bad, we're the only ones that you have here, we feel bad for leaving you out all the time and stuff
and yadda yadda yadda, so on and so forth...
so I had an enjoyable convo that evening and could fall asleep until like 6 am afterwareds... lol, thanks, maria
what you need is a friend
chocolate is your friend
chocolate doesn't care who you know or who you hang out with
he just wants you
go eat some chocolate

So yeah. It was a pleasant weekend! Did I hear someone say "Backstabbing?", "Fake friendships?" Aw, but you are so right!

I do need to get out more. But not to find friends. No, to lose the "friends" I already have.

On the happier note, I got to talk to Tamara on Skype today. She was leaving to university shortly so we didn't really talk all that much, but it was still fun. I'm so glad I still have her and Rolands and Artem around me! Today he's like "I don't have a problem with you." LoL, I thought I'd jump and hug him right there on the spot! I didn't, I continued cooking, but it's really great to hear something like that after all the crap I hear.

Well, I've slept for 4 hours from 9pm-1am. And it's 3am now so I've only gained 2 extra hours of sleep. I better not let it go to less than that!

Over and out, minna!

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