clean start

That's it. I think, I hope I'm coming to terms with the world. Wow, almost on my 21st year of life I start to open my eyes. Oh wow. I have talked to Anton, lol, that didn't go too well. Once again I've been told how terrible of a person I was and how everything is my fault. Have anyone told you straight to your face that they know their faults and that they're not about to change who they are. However, they're not alright with being treated the way you treat them and the only way it'll be possible to be friends is you having to change a number of things in yourself as they deem it appropriate. Oh wait, they expect you to be the real you at the same time!

Flippin' awesome!

I don't know, I'm lost. This has never happened to me before. It's really odd and I am completely lost. I really don't know what to do and it is bothering me. On one hand I don't like losing friends and on the other hand I don't feel like starting the chase again.

There's just something odd. I really don't think this friendship will ever work. No. I know it won't work. Because me is me and I cannot bring myself to changing anything within me.

I think I'll just drop this whole thing and be as I am. As I was. And this is how I will be. Otherwise I'll get complaints that I'm fake again. This is not how I lose friends. This is how I find out who my friends really are. So there you have it, ladies and gentlemen.

> I don't call people unless I'm bored. And I mean really bored. This includes nobody calling me :)
> I am sarcastic to the bone. I think if my bones could talk they'd be sarcastic too.
> I am a nice person. If I'm acting like a bitch - something is bothering me. And it's probably you, otherwise I wouldn't act like a bitch to you.
> I am a shy person and a lot of times a very blind to things. I tend to interpret them in the wrong way and act upon my assumptions and interpretations accordingly. Never ends well unless you tell me I'm being idiotic. Don't worry, I'm not going to be very surprised :p
> I take in and hold in a lot more than I let come out. Emotion wise, that is. I am sneaky when it comes to upsetting me so watch your back. Because I will "secretly get pissed off at you and will never tell you, so you go figure" LoL But I'll try changing that, it makes a little less sense than it doesn't.

These are very simple facts about Alex aka me. I am willing to deal with your flaws so deal with mine - usually I won't call you anyways so you don't have to deal with it a whole lot ^_^

Other than that, I love you word, happy holidays and get drunk, screwed, hammered and such. Bestest wishes - I'm coming clean.